Surviving Singleness #2

This one is called:

The List

I am a ‘list’ girl. I like writing lists and even better, I like checking things off the lists I write. I even have a ‘Kirsty’s Little Book of Lists’ (inspired by list queen Belinda B) that has lists of all sorts of things….movies I want to see, baby names I like, goals for the year, ‘to do’ lists for the holidays, present ideas for this year’s birthdays, shopping and bucket lists..…the list of my lists is endless.

A few years back, during the midst of my single days, I read Rebecca St James’ book “Wait for Me.” Following her idea, I wrote a list of the qualities I was looking for in a husband. I guess I wanted to clarify what I thought were the most important characteristics in a mate. It was fun to write and made me think hard too. Here’s some of the ideas from my list…..I would like to meet and love a man who: is honest, has a sense of humour, loves me, is strong – both physically and emotionally, values family, walks closely with God, is friendly, is a good listener, is fit and the list went on….

Then it hit me…hard! It was all well and good to write this list and be on the lookout for a man who fulfilled the list, but the most important thing was actually how many of those qualities was I displaying? Was I loving God…walking in trust and obedience? Was I loving my family….keeping in touch with my parents? Speaking kindly to my siblings? Was I approachable, friendly, others'-focussed? Was I looking to be healthy and whole physically? Was I a woman of integrity, one who lived what I said I believed? Was I treating my friends with respect and encouraging them?

 In the waiting period of the single years, can I encourage you to make sure your focus is not entirely on Mr Right and all you hope he will be and do. God has a plan for who He desires You to be as His beloved daughter. His desire is for you to be a woman who expresses love, joy and peace. He wants you to exhibit patience, kindness and goodness.  He created you to have words and actions that exude gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

You know, in so many ways dating, romance, marriage and love are NOT about me. And yet, in considering my (future) spouse, there’s an awful lot that IS about me. Who am I? What am I like? And is that a blessing to those around me now and will it be a blessing to my husband? If not, pray for God to help you become the person He wants you to be, for the one He wants to give you.