Taking J for Granted

One of the many challenges I face in doing life well is.....not taking my husband for granted.

He is such a good and kind and loving and fun(ny) man. I need to tell him so...often.

He is a generous and gracious man in so many little (and big) ways. I need to remind him how much I appreciate those qualities.

He is responsible and sensible, thorough and organised. They are qualities I admire and certainly ones that help keep home life running smoothly.

He is trustworthy and faithful. What a blessing that is to me, his wife.

There's plenty about J that is to be respected, admired, appreciated. Plenty that I can say 'Thank-you' for. But sometimes, in the busyness of life...in the late afternoon moments when he arrives home and dinner is a mess and Little J is tired (and so am I)....in the evenings when the dishes and ironing and tidying are heavy loads (both physically and emotionally)....in early mornings when that alarm goes off way too early for my liking....in moments of selfishness and impatience, I take him for granted.

I have certain 'expectations' of him and when he meets those expectations I just think 'so he should' rather than 'thanks so much.'

I discovered Ann Voskamp's blog 'A Holy Experience' in the past couple of days and found a life transforming post (all about loving better). You might like to take a look at the 4s she recommends.... focusses, embraces, affirmations.

I have been much more conscious of these three things in the past couple of days and as I do them, it is helping me be more grateful, loving and affectionate towards my wonderful husband. So the challenge of not taking him for granted, is slowly being overcome.

Will you give them a try?

On My Mind This Week....

Do you ever feel like you have days...maybe weeks....where your head is so full and jumbled that it gives you a headache?


I woke up with a dull thudding in my brain this morning and rather than blaming getting up to baby during the night, I thought I'd take the time to think about all that's been in my head this week.


Here's a sample.....

• planning lessons....for next week during and after a 3AM feed and wishing I could just shut off the brain so I could sleep
• feeling really hot
• do people think that me being a Christian is all about what I DON'T do?
• why is j so whingey? why is he waking through the night so often? why do I have not a clue as to the answer to those questions?
• how do I politely refuse an offer of more work?
• should I even be working at all?
• why am I so selfish? judgemental? impatient? lazy?
• trying to fit another thing into a day that is already full
• wondering what to cook for mum's group or dinner...only to find half the ingredients for what I wanted to make are no longer in the pantry
• working out the best times to make phone calls...a) for when I'll actually be able to talk to the person on the other end of the phone b) for when it fits into the eating, sleeping, playing schedule that's running this end and c) for when I feel like I am alert and awake enough to make it a worthwhile conversation
• considering ebay purchases
• planning a holiday
• the grocery shopping dilemma
• AND so it goes.......

I guess as a woman....a wife....a mother.....that list of things our mind dwells on is always 
l-o-n-g....VERY long. And yes....it can certainly seem overwhelming at times.


But I have also been reminded of God's promise to me....Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.


Now the question is.....will I allow room in that full and swirling mind for my focus to be on trusting Him?

What a Woman #One

Mask worn to protect the identity of the innocent:)

I am a woman....hope that statement doesn't come as a shock to anyone.
I am a woman desiring to live life the way God wants me to live it. A worthy life goal if I may say so myself.
I am a woman who fails frequently in achieving said goal. Hmmmmm...obviously I am a work in progress, so in 2011....let's keep the building project moving.
I especially feel like I fall short when I read about the 'woman of excellence' in Proverbs 31. 'What a woman' that one is.

So in the hope of inspiring myself on in this goal of living a God-pleasing life, I thought I'd tackle blogging a series of posts on some of the different facets of this woman in Proverbs 31. Perhaps I will see areas where I need to lift my game....perhaps there will be some where I am succeeeding....perhaps.... Won't you join me?

A theme I have mentioned of late in other posts, is the role of a wife. Created by God to be a helper (one who 'complements') for Adam, Eve had a special God-given role.

So do I. I am to 'bring my husband good.' (Proverbs 31:12) I do that by....speaking highly of him to others.....showing him respect in my words, tone, actions....allowing him to lead.....encouraging him......being a willing lover.....doing the washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing, etc (with a smile:)).....giving him a head rub or back massage.....being his TA when he is replacing termite eaten skirting boards ......watching an action movie with him (even though I prefer comedies)......going willingly into his arms when he asks for a hug, even though I was in the middle of something.....making his lunch.....finding the icepack out for the green ant bite.....booking the holiday accommodation....staying within the budget he's organised when I go shopping........preparing a cold drink for him after he's mowed the lawn......praying for him every day.....thanking him for all he does to protect, provide and love our family.....

The other kind of wife is the one mentioned elsewhere in Proverbs. She is the one who makes life difficult and painful. Proverbs 12:4 - ....a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. Proverbs 19:13 - a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Hmmmm....NOT the kind of wife I want to be. Nor the kind of wife my husband deserves.

For our wedding, we wrote our own vows and J said in his that I was his crown. At first I didn't really know what that meant. But as I read Proverbs 12:4 - An excellent wife is the crown of her husband..... and thought about it, I realized the immense value and the incredible importance I have as my husband's wife. When I do him good, I am like a crown. I am a treasure. I make him feel important....like royalty. I help him to live well and bring him honour and pride.

But when I am selfish and look only to meet my own needs, I am more like a ball and chain. Hmmm.... wonder which one I'd prefer to wear?

A no-brainer question there. So that should make the decisions I make every day regarding my attitudes, words and actions towards my husband that much clearer and easier.

Simply put....Today (and every day), I need to do him good.

Letter to a Bride

I thought I'd flesh out my first 'Priscilla' idea from the last post. What's it look like to be a good wife? No doubt there's more to be said than what's below, but this is just a short note I penned to a friend recently on the occasion of her hen's night. Perhaps a few timely reminders for all of us blessed to be wives.....

Dear friend…..

Wonderful days ahead! As you continue to prepare for your wedding day, don’t forget the importance of preparing for your marriage. There’s lots to do for that special day, just as there is much to consider for the days, weeks, months and years that come after the wedding.

Here’s a few thoughts I have….not that after 3.21 years I can claim to be an expert!

Men are soooooo different to us girls. But just because they’re different, doesn’t make them wrong or stupid or……… Appreciate your man for the differences he brings to your relationship. Sometimes you really need to look hard and think positive, but it is worth it. He’ll certainly appreciate it and you’ll be happier than when you focus on the negatives.

Wives are soooooo good for their husbands. The Bible even says so! Men need someone to love and respect them. Who think they are a hero. Who constantly express their thanks for their protection and provision. Who serve them. Who give good massages. Make sure you keep a generous heart towards your husband…and act on that often!

It’s soooooo fun to love your hubby. When you find out what his principle love languages are (acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts or quality time) have fun putting into action ways that best tell him how much you love him. Be creative! And enjoy the consequences!

You sooooooo need God’s help to do marriage well. It was, after all, His grand plan and design so of course He has plenty to say about it. Make sure you search Scripture to discover what you are to do...be...say...show...in order to be ‘the crown of your husband’ (Proverbs 12:4).

And there’s soooooo much other helpful advice we can access to encourage us to ‘do’ being a wife really well. Podcasts and radio programs of Focus on the Family and Family Life Today….website: www.youngmarriedlife.com……books like ‘Intimate Issues’, ‘Fit to be Tied’, ‘His Needs Her Needs’, etc… are a few I have found useful.

Final tips...laugh a lot together...cuddle a lot...enjoy each other...always express gratitude to God and your husband...pray for him heaps...ask God to continue to help you be a wonderful helper, cheer-leader, lover...enjoy the journey – together:)

Blessings to you!

Kirsty VI

Priscilla....Queen of the Dessert and the Blog

Priscilla and Aquila....super stars of Acts 18. 


I love Priscilla....she is the wife, the woman I would like to be.


Firstly, she worked with her husband....not just any woman could do that. (But then again, not just any husband could handle having their wife with them 24/7!) She obviously understood God's plan for wives...to be a helper to their husbands. I would like to be that for mine.


Secondly, she showed great hospitality. In v3 and v26 we read about Priscilla and Aquila taking Paul and then Apollos into their home. I am sure she was a gracious hostess....perhaps even making those guests her best desserts:)) I have just had a BIG week of practising hospitality myself and I know the demands it can put on you, especially if you like order and tidiness and that gets messed with. But fortunately, I had read about Priscilla before my guests arrived and I was able to leave some of the angst I would normally have felt out of the equation. I must also give credit where credit is due and thank my Mum and husband who did so much running around as co-hosts. In saying that, let me also say it was an absolute delight to have all those guests in my home. The benefits of practicing hospitality, including: conversation, company, laughter and love.....far outweigh any disadvantages of the same.


Finally, I think if she lived in present day, Priscilla would have been a blogger. She had something to say, having been taught by Paul, the great evangelist and teacher and she was willing to pass it on...that's why she and her husband took an interest in Apollos. And that's partly why I have decided to blog...because if God is teaching us something, maybe we are to pass it on....and not just keep it to ourselves. How like God....to take what He has given and then through the chipped and broken vessels of His followers, multiply it so that others can be blessed and encouraged and taught. That way, everyone benefits!

A retrospective....

From a recent jkvani blogpost.....

On more than on occasion in the past 10 days Jon has uttered these words: 

"We have a baby in the house." 

Each time he says it...there's a sense of awe and responsibility in his voice. And I totally agree. We have been given this priceless gift of a baby boy and wow! He is ours to look after and raise in God's ways....now that IS an awesome responsibility. 

I was encouraged by reading II Chronicles yesterday. Solomon cried out to God for wisdom and God loved that prayer and blessed him abundantly. So as I tackle the 3am feeds, that's my prayer too...that God would bestow upon us as Jacob's parents, great wisdom to raise our son well..in a way that honours the One who gave him to us in the first place. If you are a parent reading this, may you be encouraged to petition God for the wisdom of Solomon (even a small % of what he had would help) in doing the most important job on the planet....loving your husband/wife and raising your children.