T-H-A-N-K-S

I am thinking and writing about thanking people this week....and have appreciated the kind feedback from a few of you about the posts. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment - it is an encouragement -  and for reading the blog.

Being the creative writer I am (not!) I came up with an acronym to help us do thanking better.... 

Thank God....each morning and night and anytime in between. He is the One to whom we have the most to be thankful for, so don't allow Him to be the One who misses out on well-deserved thanks. He's also the One who can help us pay more attention to 'thanks opportunities' throughout the day, so ask Him for help to do that too.

Have a goal of 5 "thank you"s a day. Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience talks about thanking your husband 4 times a day, so those of us who are married only have to look for 1 other 'thanks' to utter each day...right? I say 'wrong' and reckon 4 'thank-yous' to our husband = 1 out of the 5 (but then I have never been good at maths!) Anyway, get creative with the thanks. It could be face-to-face, or via phone or a text or an email or a card or aerial sign writing or....

Attitude of gratitude - develop one. When we are wide-eyed with wonder at the good stuff in our lives, it makes saying thanks easier.

Notice what people are doing and acknowledge it. We get so busy...so self-focussed...so tired...that we sometimes miss the gifts we are given throughout the day. So make the effort to see the small stuff too. Things like....

• a friend who calls to say hello ('Hey...thanks for the call. Good to hear your voice.') 
• your son taking out the bin ('I appreciate your help honey...thanks.')
• the parcel delivery man ('This is hard work in the heat...thanks!')

Kind words are not easily forgotten but sadly, they are not often used. Be different in this world that says 'Get what you can, your way and too bad about the rest.'

Set the example for others, especially your kids. I am really conscious with this in raising Little j and so I say to him as we leave the grocery shop, "Say good bye to the lady and 'thanks for helping us'." Yesterday I thanked the video shop lady like this too....and she looked at me funny, but I don't care. The library lady liked it! And so did the postman.

Feel free to develop your own acronym....and if you do...let me know what it is...thanks!

Taking J for Granted

One of the many challenges I face in doing life well is.....not taking my husband for granted.

He is such a good and kind and loving and fun(ny) man. I need to tell him so...often.

He is a generous and gracious man in so many little (and big) ways. I need to remind him how much I appreciate those qualities.

He is responsible and sensible, thorough and organised. They are qualities I admire and certainly ones that help keep home life running smoothly.

He is trustworthy and faithful. What a blessing that is to me, his wife.

There's plenty about J that is to be respected, admired, appreciated. Plenty that I can say 'Thank-you' for. But sometimes, in the busyness of life...in the late afternoon moments when he arrives home and dinner is a mess and Little J is tired (and so am I)....in the evenings when the dishes and ironing and tidying are heavy loads (both physically and emotionally)....in early mornings when that alarm goes off way too early for my liking....in moments of selfishness and impatience, I take him for granted.

I have certain 'expectations' of him and when he meets those expectations I just think 'so he should' rather than 'thanks so much.'

I discovered Ann Voskamp's blog 'A Holy Experience' in the past couple of days and found a life transforming post (all about loving better). You might like to take a look at the 4s she recommends.... focusses, embraces, affirmations.

I have been much more conscious of these three things in the past couple of days and as I do them, it is helping me be more grateful, loving and affectionate towards my wonderful husband. So the challenge of not taking him for granted, is slowly being overcome.

Will you give them a try?

One!

Little j celebrated his first birthday this week. What a special occasion...not just for him, but also, for his Mum and Dad and his grandparents too. We had both sets of grandies visit with us this week...makes for lots of cuddles, plenty of playtime and some fun conversations.

The value of family really can't be under-rated. As we move into our little boy's second year, I look back over the first 12 months and am so grateful for the support of our wonderful families.

They have called...visited...written letters...sent texts - to stay in touch.

They have baby sat, hung washing, swept floors, taken washing from the line, cooked us dinner, ironed uniforms and so many other housework tasks.

They have welcomed us into their homes for visits.

They have hugged j and told him he is wonderful.

They have hugged me.

They have continued to show us what God is like....faithful, generous, loving...

They have done so much to make the last 365+ days do-able and I just wanted to pay tribute to them today. Thanks so much to all our family...we really do appreciate you.

If you are being blessed by your family...please, don't forget to say 'Thank-you.' And if there's not much blessing happening...I am sorry.

But may all of us value our families, and never take them for granted.

The Card

After fun at the library and buying a pumpkin from a roadside stall yesterday, we arrived home in time to get a 'hand delivery' from Mr Postie. And right on the very top of the pile was the cutest little bright orange envelope addressed to jjvi.

Inside, we discovered a little treasure from j's Great Nanna. At 90+ she is still taking the time to pray for her family and make sure they know they are loved.

What a priceless gift! What a remarkable lady! Thanks Nan....you set a mighty fine example for us all.

So a challenge for today....pray for someone and then let them know they are loved.

Eye Witness

Yesterday I was an eye witness to a very special event. My baby boy rolled over for the first time. And for a first-time Mum, that is exciting.

It got me thinking about other things that happen in life, many of which go unseen. The grandparent who faithfully prays for his/her family. The husband who works hard in tough conditions each day to provide for his loved ones. The mother doing countless loads of washing after being up most of the night with the sick child. The son who wheels the bins out without being asked. The friend who cooks dinner to pass on to the family who has received bad news. The visitor who quietly helps the new Mum hang the load of washing. The boss who takes the time to write a word of thanks and slip it in a colleague's pigeon hole. The aunt who bundles up a few clothes and toys and passes them on to her niece.

So many little things that make this world go round. So many unwitnessed acts of kindness and goodness.

No! Wait! Not one of these things is unseen. God sees it all.....every single thing that every single person does on every single day. 

May you be encouraged by that thought today. That all those little (and larger) things you do this morning, this afternoon and tonight that keep your home going and bless your family and friends....God sees. And even though you may not receive any earthy thanks for what you do today, the One who really matters, smiles.

And may you be challenged by that thought today. That all those little (and larger) things you think, say and do today that hurt and harm and discourage others...God sees. And He does not smile.

I want my 'Audience of One' to be pleased He made me today. I want Him to be witness to generosity and kindness and to compassion and love. I want Him to be excited that His child is living right and well today.

From Genesis Again...Crazy Families!

Oh......My.......Goodness!!!!!

Deceit. Pride. Favouritism. Selfishness. Jealousy. Disobedience. Murder. Pain. Rage. Nastiness. Affairs.
The families whose stories we read in Genesis had it all...and more!

Sarah thought she'd never have a baby, so she gave her servant to her husband and then got jealous of the servant and treated her terribly.
Rebekah favoured one son over the other and helped him deceive his father and steal the family blessing.
Rachel stole from her Dad.
Cain murdered his brother.
Lot offered his daughters to evil men.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers who then proceeded to lie to their father about what had happened for years and years and years.
Tamar pretended to be a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law.
Laban tricked his son-in-law Jacob with the wrong wife at the wedding.
CRAZINESS!!!!

Makes me so grateful for my family.

And makes me realise that no matter how crazy things are or get in my family, God can still work His incredible plan and purpose for us, IN SPITE of us:))

Because it was from the line of Adam (who disobeyed God)...and Abraham and Jacob (who made more than a few mistakes) and Tamar and Judah (who received honourable mention above) that Jesus comes to us.


And it is through Him that we join an amazing family...of saved sinners and an awesome heavenly Father. CRAZINESS!

Rocks and God...or God Rocks!

 

We had a little bit of fun on our block yesterday...slip sliding in the mud and light showers as we picked up rocks! (Yes truly! I consider that fun!)

But it was about more than actually DOING that. For me, there was a lot of symbolism in the rocks, the land and the process of working with both.

Joshua 4 tells the story of what the Israelites were to do when they finally crossed the Jordan River into the Promised Land, after 40 years of desert-wandering. Pick up rocks and then put them down again! But wait, there's more! The rocks were to be set up as a marker, a memorial that the children would see and ask about. And when they did, the answer they were to give was to tell them about what God had done so that they would know God is powerful and fear Him.

We now have 4 piles of rocks on our property, but sometime soon, we are going to make a small pile a feature on one of our boundaries. We want to make a marker that says to our children...This is a God-given blessing. Our God is powerful and faithful. He is our protector and provider. He has done a great thing in giving us this land and He did it in an amazing way. The home we will establish here will be one that fears God and our family will follow Him. He is awesome and good and worthy of our praise.


I am reminded too, that as we head through the week before Christmas, we should have our eyes open to see the markers that show us what this special season is all about. And we should have our mouths open to tell our children about God...who He is and what He has done.

What markers/memorials are most special to you and remind you often that God is great and good and gracious?

Surviving Singleness #8

Our Story
Is it too egotistical to quote yourself? Sorry if you think it is, coz I am about to....
I ended the last Surviving Singleness post with: Next time…I’ll tell you about the success story. Yes….after all those embarrassing failures, there has been a happy ending. And I pray there will be for you too.

So here it is....the success story.

In 2006 I was turning 33. Sometime during that year I thought about the fact that Jesus died when he was 33 and I asked the question, "Would I die happy if I died at 33?" I came quickly to this conclusion...a resounding NO! So with a sense that there was more for me than just work, I quit my job and moved back 'home' to live closer to my then-pregnant sister. I gave myself permission to have a year off teaching and see what God would do if I made room in my life for 'possibilities' - whatever they may be but hoping all along that they might resemble Mr Right.

As the year progressed I had my embarrassing failures as I tried to navigate the world of dating and relationships. For the gory details see: Surviving Singleness #7. Then in October I received a phone call that would set in motion an unexpected and exciting chain of events.

My sister and her husband, who had been praying for a husband for me for ages, rang to tell me they had signed me up to an internet dating website. "It's a Christian one" they reassured me. I spent a couple of days looking at the prospects on the website and became more and more overwhelmed by the number of faces to choose from. How was I supposed to find my Mr Right when there were just soooo many options out there, including men from all over the world? A week or so later my sister and brother-in-law told me, "We've narrowed down the field and reckon you should email these 3 guys."

So I did. I sent the same simple introductory email to all 3 Queensland-based guys. One guy never replied - his loss. One was really negative about life in general - so I sent an educational response suggesting ways he could get a warmer response in his next attempt. And the final guy responded with an obvious sense of humour....seems I had sent the email 8 times, filling his inbox! Oooppppss!

But as God would have it, #3 guy turned out to be the man who would become my wonderful husband and now the fantastic father of my darling little son.

In all honesty, I was smitten at email number 1. J came across as very down-to-earth, clever and funny. Tick, tick, tick. And considering some of the other offers I was getting in my inbox...including the one from the 50-something year old who was suggesting I come to dinner to meet his grown up children and eat his special pasta dish....this guy just sounded so normal.

He also got 'ticks' coz he had a ute! 

So email after email went back and forth as we got to know each other in cyberspace. I asked all sorts of big questions and J was gracious enough to respond in quite a bit of detail. I had my 'team' - ie. my family - help me in the process. They even read some emails to help me keep perspective...I certainly didn't want to fall in love with a guy just because he could write witty words.

In late November we started to talk about Christmas plans and J told me he was going to a family get together not far from where I would be. So we planned to meet, still not having talked to each other, except through the written word.

A week out from Christmas, as I was writing him yet another email, J called. I tripped over the cord as Mum passed me the phone...great start! I had to get him to repeat his last name 3 times coz I just couldn't get the pronunciation right. Great middle! And we planned that he would come for a day visit just after Christmas..now that was a GREAT end!

Actually, J's arrival at my parents' home and all that transpired over that initial 'day' visit, which turned into a delightful 5 (yes, that's right FIVE) day visit was the beginning of another very special chapter in our story. But I'll save that for a future post.

It's great to think back on that fun, exciting, nerve-wracking time 4 years ago. Especially as we head  up to our anniversary of the day we met...ahhhh! It's also great to reflect on God's goodness in bringing us together. He has certainly written a fairytale in our story....and I so appreciate that.

If you'll allow me, here's a few tips for my lovely single readers...

• Pray...continue to put your desires for a husband and family before God and ask for His provision of the right man for you. And if you are headed into or are in a relationship, continue to pray for guidance and wisdom. 
• Get a 'team' together who will pray for you and help in practical ways, like introducing you to people and helping you live in reality land, not fantasy land.
• If you venture into internet dating territory, do so cautiously. I would suggest recruiting a trusted friend to help you and provide some accountability. 
• Do let the guy lead. As much as I wanted to find out from J early on if he thought this email thing might become more and as much as I wanted to talk to him and meet him, I let him be the one to initiate contact. And he told me later that was really important to him.
• If you are writing emails, don't go in the deep end too quickly. It is very easy to write lots and write about deep, important things because there's a sense of safety and anonymity when you aren't talking face to face.
• If and when you decide to meet, make sure it's done in the presence of others...either a public place or better yet, get him to meet your family and/or friends straight up. J tells me that was great because he got to see me interact with them and he could also evaluate what quality of 'stock' I came from.

So I'll leave you there...with J and I as email buddies, who have had 1 phone conversation and stand on the eve of our first meeting......

Surviving Singleness #7

Risky Business

No! I am NOT going to be talking about singing songs in your socks and jocks aka Tom Cruise. But I wanted to start by saying that putting yourself out there to start and grow a relationship requires a certain amount of risk and as a logical consequence, the potential for failure. That was my experience anyway.

When I began to acknowledge a desire to be married, I set in motion a few steps to try to help that process. Some were successful and some resulted in absolute, abysmal, embarrassing failure….

One of the first things I did was tell trusted family and friends that I was interested in meeting men….they had to be Christians and preferably, not absolute dorks. I asked my friends to keep an eye out for me and if they thought it appropriate, invite me and him over so we could get to know each other in a relaxed, surrounded-by-friends atmosphere. That way it would be casual, low-key and I would have the chance to see him interact with others. Also, since I trust my family and close friends and I know they love me, I knew they would make a good choice of who to invite over. So how'd that plan go? Well…a failure really. Some Brizzy friends followed through for me and invited me and 'the chosen guy' to a soccer match. Even strategically had us sit near each other. Hmmmm… should have known things would not go well when he arrived ½ an hour late and did not speak to me throughout the whole first half of the game. Later, my friend told me he'd heard 'the chosen guy' was interested in someone else. And then followed up with the heart warming - but not very helpful - statement, "We really don't know anyone good enough for you K."

Next, I got the guts to call a guy and put a friendly invitation out there for us to get together for coffee next time he was in town. I coached myself before hand….be friendly, light, funny. I even had a script outline so I wouldn't stumble and fumble and sound psycho. I planned a good time to call and said a quick prayer before I did. Ok… I knew this would go well. Hmmmmm…maybe not…..
Ring ring ring ring
He picks :"Hello? Bob here." (name changed to protect his identity)
Me…calmly (but with heart racing!!!): "Hi Bob! It's Kirsty L.... here… how are you?"
Him: "Fine thanks…and yourself?"
Me….feeling in control and like this was going well: "Really well… thanks for asking. So I hear you've been working in town lately. And I was just wondering if you'd like to catch up next time you're here.
Maybe we could grab a cup of coffee or something? It'd be fun, coz as you know there's not too many people our age around and not too many things to do in this little town. But only if you want to of course."
And then the response that devastated me then, made me cringe for months afterwards and makes me laugh today…
Him: "Sorry? Who is this???"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Another failure! And we never got together for that coffee…or anything else.

Another risk was entering the world of internet dating. Potentially a dark and dangerous world, I thought if I signed up on a Christian dating website I would at least make it a less dark, but possibly
still dangerous, experience. Hmmmmmmm….

Three days into the 10 day trial, I deleted my profile from the website. At that time I just didn't feel right about putting myself out there and I certainly felt overwhelmed at the prospect of being contacted by weirdos and having to sort through a multitude of guy's profiles and hope I found the right one. Yep! Failed again.

But you know, considering how badly each of these plans went, I would do it all again. Because in that process I learned a few things about myself and what I wanted. I also grew a bit more confidence…risk
taking can do that for you. I admitted my desires. I enlisted the help of a team of trusted people, realising that even though it would ultimately be 'my' relationship, I needed the advice and support of community to get me there. I tried not to take the failures personally. I guess if I did, I would have given up after the soccer game flop and who knows….I might still be spinstering.

Finally, a thought from a brilliant little piece of theatre written by Qld girl Joanna Butler. In "I Want to be in a Jane Austen Novel," teacher Ellie tells her best friend Jen some home truths: "We're waiting for Mr Darcy to rescue us from all our problems – ride off with us on his white horse to Pemberley…What if he doesn't come?"

I guess I had that thought in mind as I set out to do things intentionally and differently regarding relationships. Sure my plans didn't have the desired results, but at least I was having a go… opening myself up to possibilities; realising the fairytale may not happen and I certainly couldn't just sit and do nothing and expect Mr Darcy or Mr Right to find me and sweep me off my feet. So risks were what I needed to take…and I did.

Next time…I'll tell you about the success story. Yes….after all those embarrassing failures, there has been a happy ending. And I pray there will be for you too.

Surviving Singleness #5

Exercise the Love Muscle 

I remember tearing up in a discussion with a good friend about love, back in my late 20s. It wasn’t because I thought love had passed me by. And it wasn’t because I was not currently the object of anyone’s love, or a boyfriend or husband wasn’t the object of my love.

I was actually upset because I was thinking about my inability to love. I had become quite selfish by that stage in my life. Long hours alone, living by yourself, fixating on your own life will do that to a girl. And I was genuinely concerned that if God did bring a special man into my life, perhaps I wouldn’t know how to love him.

Well my friend soon put me straight, reminding me that since I know God – who IS love – if I stay close to Him, I would be able to love and love well. And besides, why was I waiting for loving to be a future action? Why not spend time developing my love muscle now…while I had ample time and resources as a single girl. Ouch! Sometimes friends can be so blunt……….and so right!

So one way I set about developing my ability to love was to become an encourager. Think about those in your life who have encouraged you. Aren’t they someone you admire, appreciate and want to emulate? I have been extremely blessed over my lifetime to have had many and varied people – from teachers to students to aunts to friends to bosses to sisters  - speak words of gratitude and encouragement into my life. They are words that have changed me, challenged me and comforted me. In fact, one of my sentimental keepsakes is my ‘Joy Box’….a box full of wonderful words of encouragement written by these people on beautiful cards and pieces of scrap paper. These are still treasures that I read once in a while, and even though many were written years ago, they still have the ability to refresh me, lighten my spirit and make me smile and get excited about life.

Imagine if my words – spoken and written - did the same for others? So that’s one thing over the years I have tried to do…bless and encourage others through words. I am one of those people who don’t like talking on the phone, but I have lists of people I pencil into my diary to call at different intervals throughout the month or year. I pray that a call from me and words I am trusting God to give me, will tell those people that they are loved.

I like to write cards and notes to people….workmates, friends, my family, students. And again, I hope that I might be offering a word in season to encourage them and give them that little nudge to keep going. Recently, I wrote 3 little notes to 3 teenaged boys I teach. To the Yr 10 boy who said ‘thank-you’ after a lesson, I said ‘thanks’ in return and urged him to never lose that gift of encouragement because it makes a difference. To the Yr 9 boy who used encouraging words on the sports’ field, I urged him to keep speaking kind, ‘build-em-up’ words with his classmates because he’ll never know how much they might mean to someone who is struggling. And to the Yr 8 boy who came last in every event, but still had a go, I encouraged him to always keep that ‘have-a-go’ attitude because with it, he will go far in this life. Simple things. 50 word notes, that took no time at all, but that I pray God will use to encourage those young men.

So who is in your life that you can encourage today? Family members, friends, workmates, your pastor, church family, teenagers, children, random people you see once a week…your postie??? Even if you are not the most proficient writer, it honestly doesn’t take much time or talent to pen a few lines of appreciation. A Bible verse can add extra encouragement. Or even Google ideas for quotes or verses that you might be able to use. And don’t forget, every May holds National Thanksgiving Day, perhaps you can use that month as motivation but even before then, how about you to write 5 cards of encouragement by Christmas. That's only 1 every fortnight!

Encouraging others does make a difference, and not just to the person who is the recipient of your kind words. As you exercise your love muscle, God shines through you and changes your heart. Perhaps He’ll even use your willingness to love now, in the single years, to develop your ability to love when you get married and start a family. That’s what He did for me.

Simple Pleasures

We had a lovely weekend away for my Dad's 60th birthday. Drove all the way south to the Sunny Coast for a family get-together on Saturday. What a special day! In thinking about it afterwards, I was reminded how much I have to be thankful for...
there's both BIG things and little things.
And more often than not, it is the little ones that just make life that bit sweeter.

We listened to a podcast on the way home where the author of Pure Pleasure....a new book about Christians and pleasure was interviewed. (Apparently you can download this one for free...see: this website) I was reminded by the author, Gary Thomas, that God has made His creation as a gift for me and when I embrace that and enjoy it, the benefits are two-fold. He is pleased AND I experience greater joy and contentment in life. Mr T said that an understanding and appreciation of pleasure can do 3 things for us:

• lead to more and deeper and spontaneous worship of God
• help us appreciate relationships much more
• protect us from temptation

My weekend certainly prompted the first 2 in me. Below is a list of some of the simple pleasures of the past 62 hours. Once you've read my list, would you add a comment to the post with a few of your simple pleasures of late...and would you take a moment to thank God for them, if you haven't already?

• calm clear waters of the lake
• brilliant sunshine 
• warm days and cool mornings
• pelicans
• caring family
• laughter
• my sisters
• Mum making me proud
• Dad's gratitude
• cheesecake
• generous people giving gifts to Jacob
• Jacob traveling so well
• casting a fishing rod
• sitting by a fire
• posing for family photos
• a wonderful husband
• safe travel
• green grass and brom flowers
• time to relax on the deck
• waffles and freezer jam
• quick wits
• sparklers
• family devotions and prayer
• planning Christmas
• hugs
• a 3 year old's version of 'Kirsty'
• imaginations 
• kindnesses
• being able to take the time and have the eyes to see and enjoy these pleasures

Your turn now....

Listen to the Lyrics #1

Steven Curtis Chapman: ‘CINDERELLA’

In May 2008 a tragedy of epic proportions hit the family of Christian singer/song-writer Steven Curtis Chapman. Steve and his wife Mary Beth lost their 5 year old daughter, Maria Sue. She was killed in their driveway after being hit by a car driven by her big brother. This terrible accident drove the lyrics of Steve’s hit ‘Cinderella’ to a new level. In the song he sings…

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

As Steve and his family were celebrating the engagement of his eldest daughter Emily, they were saying ‘good-bye’ to their youngest daughter. Both Cinderella’s were leaving the care of their parents to enter a new future and destiny. But in the midst of change and grief, Steve realized the truth of parenthood. We have only a small amount of time with our children  - valuable time that we need to enjoy, make the most of and cherish. Make sure you take time to today to input love into the lives of your children.

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And they'll be gone 

Find this song on itunes or www.youtube.com

A retrospective....

From a recent jkvani blogpost.....

On more than on occasion in the past 10 days Jon has uttered these words: 

"We have a baby in the house." 

Each time he says it...there's a sense of awe and responsibility in his voice. And I totally agree. We have been given this priceless gift of a baby boy and wow! He is ours to look after and raise in God's ways....now that IS an awesome responsibility. 

I was encouraged by reading II Chronicles yesterday. Solomon cried out to God for wisdom and God loved that prayer and blessed him abundantly. So as I tackle the 3am feeds, that's my prayer too...that God would bestow upon us as Jacob's parents, great wisdom to raise our son well..in a way that honours the One who gave him to us in the first place. If you are a parent reading this, may you be encouraged to petition God for the wisdom of Solomon (even a small % of what he had would help) in doing the most important job on the planet....loving your husband/wife and raising your children.